All of me is tired

Today I feel tired. A kind of tired that seeps through all the layers of my being. My body is tired. My mind is tired. My heart is tired. My hope is tired. My love is tired.

There is a numbness that is both painful and pleasant. It is painful because of the fatigue of feeling deeply all the time in a shallow world. It is pleasant because it is also giving all of me a break from feeling so deeply, like a much-needed exhalation.

Maybe my pursuit to love with my heart naked is a faulty hypothesis to live life as an experiment by. Maybe believing in the goodness of humanity is setting the wrong expectation. And even as I write these sentences through aching fingers and wrists, I know deep down I dont believe them. I will never believe them. The warrior in me is tired but not dead yet.

May my sore heart learn to love when broken and tired, deeper even deeper.

(Photo by Gage Walker on Unsplash)