Heartbreak

This pain is alien
I realize I never
truly loved before this
my naive heart and her
childlike openness
were perfectly supple
for the arrows that struck it

It feels like I have 
imploded in myself
and I lie awake at night
from the heaviness of the pieces
strewn all over my chest
with tears gathering their precious
to put back someday, becoming
whole, hoping able to love again.

Hardly matters whose arrow it was. It struck. 
It hurt. and it struck and hurt hard.

I don’t blame the bow or the thumb
the aim, or the archer
cause when I see my shattered heart 
I only see how deeply I loved.

And I find myself with my crushed center
still spreading and opening my arms,
though this time wisely in surrender, 
night by night, breath by breath
owning this pain and making it 
my friend, my teacher
and in feeling it fully 
I let it strengthen my bones 
able to bear the load 
of my lofty heart’s loving.

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash