God fearing to God seeking to God fucking.
God fearing to god fucking.
That pretty much sums up my journey so far in the healthiest most infuriating relationship I have ever had.
Beginnings:
My mom’s iron-clad faith is what my young being absorbed. She called God Baba, Hunuman Baba. And this monkey faced God became sacred to me without me knowing. Our family in innumerable homes across India always had a small wooden Mandir that held sacred pictures and objects. There sat a picture of Lord Hanuman carrying a mountain high in one hand. Lord Hanuman, embodies devotion. His devotion to his God was so intense that he moved a mountain to bring the medicine that was needed by Lord Rama.
The lesson: Devotion can move mountains.
What is devotion? It is the being devoted to the eternal spirit that adorns strange hoodwinking costumes of separation in all life. Most often as my own fears pantomiming as preferences.
And the more difficult lesson: We do not choose whom to be devoted to, life does, truth does, God does and this choiceless choice is the most exhilaratingly excruciating encounter on the journey of embodying Pure Love.
It is perhaps a coincidence that Hanuman Jayanti is today on the day this life-form called Kali Sapien took birth. It feels like a gift from the divine. A different gift than I was hoping for, but pertinent and poignant nonetheless.