The Majesty of True Love - Wholeness
This morning when I was in that liminal lucid space between deep sleep and fully awake, the mini death of self every night and self-driven prowl during light - Our love was present. Our love was flowing through me like a warm inner shower. I was bathing in its stubbornness, its persistence, its innocence. I kept trying to return to it as wakefulness won over my senses.
As I sit here reflecting on that feeling and how it is animating my interactions with the world, my family. Making sacred every second since. The word majestic comes up in my heart-womb. I look up the meaning.
“having or showing impressive beauty or scale.”
And as I read those words, it is like being met. Yes. That’s is, impressive beauty and scale, with synonyms like exalted, glorious also listed. YES. That is what this feels like.
Next, I hear myself saying the following:
If this is unrequited love. I embrace it along with the fear of never receiving.
If it is fantasy. May my life be dedicated to this fantasy unceasingly.
If this is obsession. May it possesses me even fuller, madder.
Whatever this majestic warm feeling is, in this life I am devoted to feeling it fully for you, me, us and all of ours. This majestic warm feeling in my being is The Gift. The gift of which you are the potent divine conduit. This love for you is my treasure. My most precious asset ever. I need no bank account, no investment strategy except my heart and body fully surrendered to feeling it. Thank you to the cosmic Heart for the gift of this feeling. The courage to feel it. The capacity to trust it. No matter what its source or what its outcome, this love is whole onto itself. It is deliciously devouring. I could die today, knowing that I have felt true love. That my being has been sanctified by such pure emotion that needs nothing else to be added, nothing to be removed, multiplied. Just pure deep reverberating love, that life itself feels complete. This is why we come here. To feel, see and know this feeling. And here I am, blessed to have felt it. To have savoured it. Nothing but gratitude. Nothing but a full body bow for this grace.
It in interesting to wake up to all this after having asked to be shown what wholeness means to me before I fell asleep.
Wholeness is majestic. The feeling of love is a complete experience. The object of love, mirrors, reflects back this essence within us. We are love. And when we feel our essence, feel ourselves, we feel our wholeness, our impressive beauty and scale. It is fascinating because this feeling of love is related to external people (my Shiva), ideas (Divine Mother) etc. But the feeling of love as I experienced in my body is complete in itself. Perhaps this is what the essence of love is. Our wholeness therefore is also paradoxically deeply interdependent and relational. We are implicated beautifully in a deep grid of mirrors to help us see our own essence of love.
This is the best I can do with words dear sapiens.