What does being well raised mean?
Having not learnt to hate. In other words. Having learnt to be understanding and curious when mad instead of being mean. Holding compassion instead of grudges for those you have shared memories with.
(without losing the authentic expression of anger in voice (not physical impulse of harming) when the moment demands it)
Simply put, this is not knowing how to embody “You are dead to me energy” if you had genuine connection with someone. A breakup can feel like the grief of bereavement. Friendships being lost also feels like grief of bereavement.
2. To be raised regeneratively means to be not have learnt to hate, but have learnt to fight in self-defense to the capacity of taking life at real physiological threat rather than perceived threat. Instinctual awareness brings us this discernment. A collapse (freeze, fawn) or unwarranted coercion or hiding (fight or flight) is a symptom of not having this. Knowing when someone truly means harm when in shared time or space is ALWAYS available in the moment real time to two nervous system that are both grounded, ready and in freedom of movement (i.e having a sense of space and time).
If we don’t feel confident as a parent, we will have the felt sense of worry, that I might make a choice that hurts my baby. This #confidencegap can result in us transferring a felt sense state of unease to our child and this can impact their long-term ability to feel sure and held and may need to hold someone for a few seconds to relax while they are learning to help themselves. And in life, even terminator can sometimes need someone to give him a smile let alone a truama survivor of anykind no matter the skin tone of their genetic code and habitational accommodations for optimal sapiening.