Something died today

Something somewhere
close or far from our awareness
hidden or in focus
died today.

Something, someone
with a story like yours, like mine died.
Gone forever in that form.

It faced THE fear
that keeps humanity
blind to its own power.

They faced THE fear
we prefer resisting so much
we rather resign to the destruction of
our own bodies and planetary mother.

The fear of the unknown.

The intensity of this fear
drives all our urgency.

All our impatience with
Life, Other, Spirit, and Self.

So, let’s take a second today sapiens.
and look at our bodies
and reckon with its mortality/power.

Let’s reckon with the certainty of death
not conveniently avoided for ease
in ‘yes someday in the future’.

That sure to happen
terrifying thing
can come to me, you,
someone we love
in the next second.

Breathe.

This is truth.

It is scary. And everything
called life that lived in a body
faced this fear
alone and silently
by design even before
knowing how to breathe air.

Before birth, we live blind but with the felt sense
of being held within the warmth of a nutritional womb.
After death, we leave behind a cold body and rest
without breath in unknown arms of a formless Mother.
Everything in between we call Birth, Life & Death
is preparation for building trust in ourselves, not homes in others.

We could remember the trust
we embodied in
pressing without knowing what lay
beyond the canal.

We could remember
before air, we knew
how to breathe in water.

We could desire
this Final to DO
by choosing to
just BE
with our fears.

But, will we beloved sapiens?
Will you? Will I remember
that the way we are designed to BE pending our own birth
teaches us how to live and die with our fear.

____

Written today as I learn the sneaky ways I control in the name of faith.
how I resign in the name of surrender
how my trust can be clutch to run away from impermanence.

This piece is within a larger healing arc of two fears I jostle between. The fear of what I know. The fear of what I don’t know.

While using Somatic Experiencing & Somatic Movement, I have been unwinding from multiple trauma that is homed in my body. This poem came from unwinding a deep freeze in my system from prenatal trauma from a motor accident when my mom was 8 months pregnant with me. And it felt like a lesson in how deep freeze can happen in the most vulnerable states and yet unwind with patience and compassion following intuition. A lesson both in birth, life, and death at the same time before experiencing birth to fathom death.

The birth canal is the death tunnel. The body chooses. The baby gives birth to itself with hormonal communication with a trusting mother. Both allowing their bodies to do what they know instinctively. Can we trust our babies? Can we learn to talk to them? Can we see the power inherent in the instincts of our sapien design even at its most vulnerable and un-developed*?! Can we stop failing our children, mothers, and ourselves? I feel such sacred rage today. I want to with love burn down all fear of our bodies and being.

*children are born with their truth, their knowing, their power intact, while their body needs development their being comes online from the moment they are alive.