To the one I am grieving the loss of...
You are forever etched perfectly in my being as a lesson in the greatest mystery of life - love. The truest kind. I cannot grieve you and yet I am deep in grief.
In understanding what is being grieved - I recognize it is the loss of your presence in my world. Your voice, your thoughts, your face, your stories, your wisdom, your sometimes annoyingly timed jokes. But mostly I am grieving the loss of those precious glimpses of your magnificence that you wear so humbly, unknowingly like someone hiding a tiny bald patch under a cap. I so wanted to be there to show it to you every time you covered it up. Your magnificence is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
My dreams reach for your dreams as much as my eyes reach for your magnificence. But I cannot yet cover this distance and in some ways already have. You are beyond a strict boundary. And yet you are in every cell of mine. In every breath. You are here. You have always been here. You never leave me alone m$th&rf%ck#r! Thank goodness and also how annoying that you still know how to annoy me.
Truthfully then - it is my senses that are grieving the absence of your physical presence, i.e the proof of you. My soul does not need proof of itself. The heart cannot grieve itself. Life cannot grieve itself. Love does not need proof of itself. So this grief is a symptom of having human senses. And attachment is just a fancy word the wise ones created to help us loosen our hold on them. (Sidenote: The goddess would like to define attachment as the unavoidable umbilical cord between being embodied and timeless)
I don’t need proof of you in my life. I would like proof of you, I would enjoy it immensely. But I don’t need it. I know the truth of us. I know it deeper than any other truth. I know our love will continue to nourish and transform us beyond this distance. Beyond this silence. Beyond every barrier that my senses perceive and grieve. Because this loss to the senses is also the greatest gift to them. To learn to perceive you beyond time and space, to be with you in the place where the highest love truly lives.
Also, all these quotes by Rumi, now make sense 100%. I wonder who it was that Rumi loved…I wonder what was their way of expressing their realizations? What was their poetry, their art?
“I closed my mouth and spoke to you in a hundred silent ways.” ― Rumi
“In your light, I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.” ― Rumi
“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.” ― Rumi
“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” ― Rumi
